Lamenting a talent lost

It has been a rather disturbing day. 

Yes, I'm yet to fall asleep...

Early on the 30th Headlines Today journalist Soumya Vishwanathan was  shot dead 200m from her home. 

The fact it was a murder came to light only after the post-mortem found a bullet lodged below her earlobe. Initially, it was taken to be an accident.

Soumya's shift got over at 12am — but she stayed back thanks to the Malegaon and Modasa blasts story breaking late.

I should know. Our Frontpage was delayed, initially because of the above incidents and then because of the US bailout package being rejected... Both leads on the page turning on its head. The day was a typical nightmare situation for the desk.

But Soumya volunteered to stay back to help her channel — her skills as a troubleshooter were legendary.

As my flatmate often told me about Soumya, his colleague: "If you assigned any task to Soumya, you could rest assured it would be taken care of with no cause for complaint."

No wonder she rose so swiftly to the position of producer.

I've never met her yet I,ve heard a lot about her from many... from my friend who was with Headlines Today when Soumya joined as a trainee to my flatmate whose colleague she was.

But from what I can understand, she was ever-redy with a smile to help others and go the extra mile.

Which makes the incident all the more tragic and scary.

She belonged to that rare breed of TV journalists, ok let me be blunt, desk people, who are experts at what they do, are not hungry for attention or fame, humble and helpful, who go about silently with their work — the faceless footsoldiers of media.

Tell me, how many of you knew of her before this tragic incident? I doubt if it would be many outside the profession, friends or relatives.

People like us, who cut their teeth in Calcutta, often find fault with a lot of stuff.

After I shifted to Delhi, I often used to lment that the desks in Calcutta were more meticulous. Often I'd express disgust at the "Chalta hai" attitude of the desks.

My friends here refuted my arguments with one exmple — Soumya. If only all desk people were like her.

And all the stuff her colleagues spoke of on her channel, they weren't made up... most trainees at Headlines Today generally look up to Zakka or Soumya.

In fact its a pity so many more journalists have been denied her presence in their formative years... that girl would have gone far.

She imbued so much of the values that were hardwired into us at Calcutta. She was a gem.

I remember my early days in Calcutta when I would stay back or go in early or do both... such was the addiction for news.

I hope this incident does not scare people who want to follow her values. I sincerely do. Indian media is in serious shortage of desk-staff. It would help if such people even had 10 per cent of Soumya's dedication. It sounds heartless, but even in her death she's possibly gifted her channel their highest TRPs.

Such incidents may be commonplace in the Capital, but it hits you hard when someone so young from your fraternity is snatched away.  It makes you think if it's worth all that. 

We journalists can handle a non-existent social life, odd and long working hours, intense pressure and  impossible deadlines. But is it worth paying for with your life?

People, please wake up. The next one could be someone you know. 

Soumya, I regret that I never met you. But I hope we meet a million Soumyas in our lives.

And then I'm sure you'll be smiling away to glory wherever you are — for having helped so many.

Rest in Peace 

Angst unplugged

Guess I shouldn't have made Kafka staple bedtime reading a couple of weeks back. And it didn't help that I added Camus and Mann to the repertoire. I'm currently reading Mann's Confessions of Felix Krull.
And I was on night shift last week. Altogether not the smartest thing to do when you don't feel particularly good about anything. And now I'm hit by an overdose of angst — urban angst they call it.
Not particularly good when you stay alone. And so I've been ranting about virtually everything under the sun these days. Just check out my Independence Day woes on my other blog.
I need to do two things to get out of the rut — write to expunge the angst and read some stuff which will fill you with hope and a sense of redemption. Hey where's my local copy of Segal's The Class? This is a favourite of mine and I seem to buy a copy wherever I go and leave it there :-(
Don't know about you , but this book really peps me up.
And I've been writing a lot in the last few hours.
I've also discovered a new passion — reading ebooks on my E61i while on the move. Try doing that while you listen to your iPod — it's exhilarating. But peeople driving, a word of caution — I don't drive and do this stuff only on the Metro or in an auto.
But my phone is giving me some trouble. Apparently I've gotta get the latest pdf reader to view all the ebooks and the stuff costs a cool 13 euros!
Mentioning the Metro, I guess everywhere it's the same. Why do people like taking joyrides on them, especially on holidays? We poor sods who work on such days are badly inconvenienced. But guess my rant isn't gonna make these thickheads here anymore conscious.
Omigosh!
there see I've started ranting once more. Gotta cure myself.
In other news, my eyes seem to be failing me — gotta see a doc soon. I don't see as well as I was used to. And if I wasn't so hard up financially, I would have considered buying a digicam or an iPod touch, just to read ebooks. And any new jobs I'm being offered isn't giving me that much of a hike. So I'm caught in the rut till my office agrees to a hike. Its a tough life!
Excuse me please, I feel waves of angst overwhelming me.
Bye

In remembrance (written on the night of 24th June)

Forgive me. This post is a bit personal.
Tonight is the first time I'm spending a night at my grandparent's place in Cal since my Didan passed away. And I cannot sleep. Memories keep flooding me, and yet, no tears.
A couple of things seem to have fired my nostalgia:
I visited my old office the first time after I left. And it felt good to be back, even though temporarily. Today, realisation dawned that my true calling lay here - in Cal with my old team. I think I've always felt that way. But just as a young bird needs to go on its first flight alone to strengthen its wings and return home, so do I. It's not yet time.
There is another painful reason: I can't think of working in Cal staying in this house. Its sacred to the memory of times gone by.
I did not have the luxury of showing my anguish when I first heard the news, dumbstruck as I was with shock. Also, I got the news in the middle of a mass meeting with top bosses. I felt and still feel strangulated.
I'm awake at that point of time in the night when I used to get back. More memories flood me, but still no tears. Guess I'm being selfish, but she was snatched away when I needed her the most. I was close to her in an unlikely manner. All her grandchildren felt closer to her than their own mothers. She was often a sounding board for most of my decisions in life. And I've reached the crossroad thinking about what the rest of my life holds. I needed her words of wisdom now.
yet I can't come back before proving myself.
She had decided on my shift. She was after me to take this decision. The least I can do as her grandson is to abide by it.

A million cars to Noida (written on 13th June)

I had got out of office a bit early tonight. Coming down Nizamuddin bridge on my way home, I was greeted by the tail lights of a million cars. Well, not exactly, but quite a few, let me tell you.
I made a few deductions:
a) a sizable population of the capital was visiting the suburbs
b) most journalists in the capital live in Noida
c) it was a Friday, so everyone wanted to go on a drive on the highway

Nonsense natter

Why do people blog?
Some blog for fame, some for money (a rare category), some to promote themselves, some to stay in fashion (a majority), some because they have nothing better to do (includin myself) and many because they love writing (again, me). Some of us with limited conversational skills find it easier to string together sentences while writing.
I also blog to improve my skills as my teacher from junior school told me that the more one writes, the better it becomes.
But the real reason for this mindless post is that I'm sitting in an auto hurtling towards Noida from Delhi and I can't resist twiddling my fingers. I'm also relishing technological advancement. It's exhilarating!

Miscellaneous musings

I'm growing old. And fast.
I see a single strand of white in my sideburns and a whitish tinge on my beard. I'm thrilled. Grey looks cool... it signifies class and experience. I should be jumping with joy. But instead I feel worried.
Why?
Because I'm on the right side of thirty. And single with no time to mingle. When my parents come to know about my grey look, I'm sure they'll go ballistic. It spells disaster in the marriage market, All things considered this is not exactly the US and I'm no George Clooney.
I'd be happy with this tinge of grey but for the fact that my eyesight is failing as well. I can't see as far as I could a few years back. My 'reading range' has dropped dropped drastically from 750 metres to 150. Millions of hours in front of the monitor seem to be taking its toll.
And my forgetfulness is playing havoc with my life. I just don't seem to remember anything. Earlier, I wouldn't remember anything not connected to work while in office. Now I can't remember anything other than work. I can't even remember how many active emails and credit cards I have and how many posts I've made. I'm convinced I made a post a couple of weeks back, but just can't find it. At this rate I may soon forget who I am.
Oh well! It must be the sweltering heat in the capital, I tell myself. However what is capital is that I'm worrying over something that is natural and a part of life. AndI  see no solution to that.
Great! while keying in this post I realise my fingers can't keep up with my thoughts and I'm making typos galore. Now is that a bad sign or a good one?
Why don't you help me out? I'm too busy dealing with stupid mosquitoes and senility.
And I have to rant about the city on my other blog.
Amen!
May the force be with you!